Friday, July 20, 2012

Swim Class, Tim's View

I have only been able to go to swim class with Rory twice, travel for work has made me the inconsistent parent.  Both times I went, I was in the water with Rory.  And Rory and I enjoyed it.

First time I went, Rory hated Miss Courtney.  Miss Courtney is somewhat annoying; mostly cause she has a really deep voice but talks with a super high baby voice and is way over aggressive.  Miss Courtney isn't from MN.  Here is what gives it away, she is clearly Italian and more Jersey Shore than South Side of Chicago.   We don't have Italians here.  Honestly even the guys name Tony are probably "Antonio" not "Anthony".

That said, Miss Courtney hates me more I'm sure.  Mostly because she asks Rory questions like "What song do you want to sing today Rory?" and I don't answer like the other parents.  I assume if she is going to ask Rory a question, she should wait for Rory to answer.  She waits patiently then says "how about (enter song here)" and moves on to the other parents.

And let me tell you about the other parents; there is four other sets of parents.  Let me give you the run down...

Mom #1 and Dylan (who knows if this is his really name) are kinda like Rory and I if Rory stayed awake during the class and I was showing my ass off in my swimsuit.

William is joined by his Mom, Dad, Grandma and Grandpa each week.  These people think that William is the next Michael Phelps.  Honestly they are taking pictures like kid is about to walk on the water and turn it to wine AND are so freaking needing Miss Courtney's validation that their young son/fish is doing it right it is psycho.  These are the people who create the kid who decides at age 10 that swimming isn't his goal for the rest of his life, and he is less than one right now.  I was super nervous that if William did pass "Baby Backfloat 1" he was going to bed without his bottle or dinner.  When it was clear he passed (the cheering), I was relieved.

I like Oliver and his parents.  They also rotate who is in the water and in the changing room seem to be nice people and seem to be keeping the entire class in perspective.

The final kid is Tyler and I he is the rockstar of the class.  But here is the deal, I think the kid is probably 2 years old.  If the kid was any older he'd be asking Miss Courtney to prom.  He can do everything and seems to enjoy it; like maybe he could handle "Baby Backfloat 2" or something.  That kid makes the magic carpet ride (big floating platform the kids sit on) his bitch!  Rides it like a surfboard.

Now to be honest, I think I'm the reason Rory didn't pass the class.  Mostly cause I missed week 1, Erica didn't tell me what I need to do in detail and so I am not following the process that is needed to help her learn what she needs to learn.  We get in the car and Erica is like, you need to "blow on her face and she closes her mouth" and "when you dunk her under the water you have to push her neck down".  I also spent much of my time besides the delayed reaction to each thing (cause they all seem to know the pattern and I'm not sure what we are doing each time since Miss Courtney says, "now lets do our zooms" and I'm like "what is a zoom" but by then we are singing and jumping around.

Swim class, like a lot of baby things, really helps me to see the various methods of parenting that are out there and helps me to refine my method.  My current way of describing my parenting style is "unconditional love and reasonable perspective".  That said, once we get to that early golf age, call me Earl Woods!

1 comment:

  1. Timothy, you never fail to amuse me. Thank you for not being like William's parents.